Between the Sheets: The Impact That Menopause Has on Desire, Sex and Libido

By Charlotte O’Sullivan

Co-founder, Hall of Harper.


Our lives are full of ebbs and flows. When it comes to libido and sexual desire, there are enormous changes to be felt through the different seasons of one's life for both men and women. Though many people fear change, it should be celebrated not demonised or feared. The beauty in ageing lies in the acceptance of it.

At the Hall of Harper, a key area of study for us is the peri/menopause milestone that women experience as they hormonally transition from their reproductive years. These hormonal changes present a host of new symptoms that may have negative effects on your sexual, physical and emotional health. Naturally, this influences libido and the desire to have sex. 


Change in life stages throughout menopause

Perimenopause and menopause generally occurs throughout a time in the average woman's life that is filled with different stressors such as children, financial pressures and work/life balance. These stressors immediately hinder the quality of our sleep and therefore impact our sex drive. With this combination at play, it is essential to be nourishing the adrenal glands and begin to create more space around our self-care rituals. 

But don't worry, there are a number of ways you can nourish and boost your libido throughout your peri and menopause years. These include:


Slowing down and recalibrating the nervous system with the practice of meditation can bring the body back into a state of harmony and relaxation. It is always much easier said than done, but during this time of hormonal change checking in with the breath and re-regulating can be incredibly helpful not only for fatigue but a time to check in with our sexual and intimate needs. 


Pelvic floor exercises and breath

Like every other muscle in our body, for it to function well it needs to be strengthened and exercised, and unfortunately our pelvic floor muscles often get forgotten. Strengthening your pelvic floor not only lets us have better bladder control but it also enhances orgasm. Using tools like Kegel Balls and Yoni Eggs can be helpful, especially if you have had children. Yet another option is deep pelvic breathing, which essentially means you take deep breaths and send them down to your cervix and connect to your sexual organs for 5-10 minutes a day. Not only is this shifting your awareness, but it gives you time to listen to what you truly desire. 


Don't be scared to use lube

As vaginal dryness can be a common symptom among women of all ages (especially through different stages of our endocrine cycle) lubrication is a simple solution to more pleasurable, frictionless sex. In saying that, finding the correct lube for your body is consequential as there are many lubes on the market that have a not-so-transparent ingredient list. Hall of Harper have made looking for a premium lube a whole lot simpler by curating a list of clean, high-quality lubricants here


Charlotte O'Sullivan is a certified meditation teacher and the co-founder of Hall of Harper, a speak-easy luxury sexual wellness boutique based on the Gold Coast. Over the next few weeks, The Goodnight Co. co-founder, Shea Morrison and Charlotte will explore the link between sleep and sexual wellness. Tune in to the Sleep by Shea podcast each Thursday to hear their deep dive into each topic.