By Charlotte O’Sullivan
Co-founder, Hall of Harper
At our boutique, we often hear first hand the impact that motherhood and sleep (or lack there of) have on desire, sex and libido. In the midst of the magic that is motherhood, it's easy to lose part of yourself. There are parts of life that can get overlooked or simply not spoken about. Sex drive and desire is often one of those things that gets lost amongst birthing and raising children.
Hormones play a role in changing desire
From a hormonal perspective, two of the key hormones linked to our sex drive and arousal are Oestrogen and Progesterone. Whether it's your first child or your forth child, during pregnancy, after giving birth and beyond, these hormones plummet.
It's important during this time that both partners within your relationship understand the hormonal, physical and emotional changes that are happening inside the body. It creates more context for the change in sexual behaviour with one another.
Regular conversation focused on intimacy with your partner is essential throughout postpartum and into parenting. When we're able to open up the space for discussion, there is active awareness and intention about how intimate relationships change.
Motherhood Doesn't Have to be the End of Sexual Desire
For some, this means it might get a little less sexy and a bit more practical. Little things you can try to create more intimacy within your life and your intimate relationships can include:
- Using massage with an oil or a wand as a form of foreplay, not only relaxes the body but sends signals of care and surrender.
- Making sure you have a high-quality lube as low estrogen post-children is common which makes you extra dry and sensitive when having sex, you can discover our hand picked selection here.
- Using kegel balls, which not only lets us have better bladder control but it also enhances orgasm.
- Meditation. Slowing down and recalibrating the nervous system with the practice of meditation can bring the body back into a state of harmony and relaxation which is linked inherently to our sex drive.
Charlotte O'Sullivan is a certified meditation teacher and the co-founder of Hall of Harper, a speak-easy luxury sexual wellness boutique based on the Gold Coast. Over the next few weeks, The Goodnight Co. co-founder, Shea Morrison and Charlotte will explore the link between sleep and sexual wellness. Tune in to the Sleep by Shea podcast each Thursday to hear their deep dive into each topic.
